Etsy Wednesday: New Shop

This week is a shameless self promotion — I’ve started a new Etsy shop where I am selling a variety of art and craft supplies for cheap. I’ve been collecting so many materials for years, and I just don’t have the room for this stuff anymore. My loss is your gain, so check it out. I’ll be adding more items soon so add me to your circle.

handmade fabric/button flowers

 

 

metal numbers

 

 

25 yard roll of tulle fabric

 

Browse more items at destashartsupplies on Etsy, and add me to your favorites/circle to stay updated about new items!

Evidence of Difference Day 8

Old Photo and Love Letter Found in Wall (1-8-11)

 

So, along with today’s post, I have to share the story of this photo and letter. My husband Brandon found these by accident when he looked up and saw a crack in the wall, and the corner of something sticking out of it. First he pulled out the photo, which was taken in the barber shop that used to occupy part of the space that is now our gallery. Then he looked a little deeper and pulled out this old love letter. We figure these are circa 1970s (and funny enough, we were listening to Barry White at the time, no joke). The letter is personal, and not complete, but I’m going to share it anyway because it’s interesting. Mick was the owner of the barber shop.

 

Dear Mick,

Just have to write you a note. Thanks heaps for a fantastic weekend. I’ll never forget it. You have got to be the greatest guy on earth. I mean this with all my heart. Your compliments, tenderness, love, love making, kisses, and just holding me were the greatest. Your smiles just make me melt. Just writing this to you gives me those butterflies again that I had when I met you in the bar that nite. Don’t worry about the cost of that phone call to you, just talking to you means all the money in the world. I just couldn’t sleep last nite. I kept worrying about you. Wish I could have been there to wipe your face and shoulder. Just like I used to do to my kids – kiss their owies . Another reason I couldn’t sleep was that I kept waking up reaching for you. After sleeping in someone you love arms for 2 nites is hard. Man do I miss you. This letter has got to be the most mixed up one you’ll ever get. I just can’t get my brain straight. I feel ill all over and just shakey. I’m not sick but its from missing you so much. How I wish right now I was in your arms. You said yesterday in bed my right arm was shaking, it’s shaking harder right now. Remember yesterday when we looked in that magazine in the bar about sex. It said everytime you make love you burn up 200 calories! You know what, I weighed myself this morning and I lost 4 pounds this weekend! If we could have been together a few more days I would have….

Unfortunately, the rest of the letter is lost.

 

 

 

Evidence of Difference is a series of 365 daily posts about what I do or see or think or create every day that contributes to difference in this world. Being normal is scary. This is proof that I’m not. Visit the Evidence of Difference category to see all posts, and read the complete artist statement on my website.

Brain Void – New Work

I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme in my artwork lately – I’ve been drawing heads that have holes or voids in them. I’ve been doing this and not even noticing it.

A recent painting:

watercolor on paper, about 8″ x 10″

 

This goes back farther than I thought –  I was looking through my photos and found this drawing from waaaaayyyy back in 2005. Sorry about the image quality – this was taken back when I only had a 4 megapixel camera!

A lot of times when I draw and paint I don’t really have  plan or an image in my mind that I’m trying to recreate. It comes intuitively. I just start and go. Sometimes it’s crap and sometimes it works. I LOVE that I’m to the point as an artist where I don’t care if something I’m doing isn’t successful or doesn’t turn out the way I want it to. When I was younger it always felt like such an abject failure every time something went wrong. Now it’s just part of the process. I’ve learned that mistakes have a way of not only teaching, but can lead to more interesting concepts. I almost cherish mistakes now–because they can lead to true originality.

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.” -Thomas J. Watson

Anyway, about this brain void imagery–I’ve always had some problems with my brain (paranoia, self-destructive thoughts, crippling worry, racing/repeating thoughts) so we could probably analyze this to death….but I’m just going to roll with it, and start creating some artwork that consciously uses this imagery.

Up next — For a long time, I’m been trying to learn how to control my thoughts. It sounds so silly — of course you should be able to control your thoughts, it’s your brain! But for me it isn’t always that easy. I’ve tried many techniques — letting my thoughts float by and not attaching to anything, trying to think of a happy memory whenever I have a bad one come into my head, things like that. But nothing has really worked because my damn logical brain knows I’m trying to trick it. So the good news is that I had a dream a couple months ago about an issue in my life that has been bothering me for 5+ years. It’s one of those things that I can’t do anything about, and it’s not going away. In my dream, I took this bad thing, chopped it up, and put it in a puzzle box on a shelf that had all the lost puzzle pieces in it. So this is where I’m going next with my work. Random puzzle pieces and brain voids.

Well that was a lot more of a personal/rambling post than I initially intended! How about you? Does your neurosis influence your artwork at all? NOTE: I don’t buy into that whole “artists are mental cases” crap. Everybody has quirks.

The Imagine Nation

To me the imagination

is a place all by itself

a separate country.

 

You’ve heard of the French

or the British nation.

 

Well, this is

the lmagine nation.

 

It’s a wonderful place.

 

How would you like to make

snowballs in the summertime?

 

Or drive a big bus

right down  5th Avenue?

 

How would you like to have

a ship all to yourself

that makes daily trips

to China and Australia?

 

How would you like to be

the Statue of Liberty

in the morning

 

and in the afternoon

fly south with a flock of geese?

 

It’s very simple.

 

Of course, it takes practice.



 

-Kris Kringle (Miracle on 34th Street)

 

 

Will be on vacation until the 30th, then back to your regularly scheduled programming. Happy Holidays!

My violin story – why I love Classical music

Let’s take a little detour from visual influence and talk about another powerful influence in the arts – music!

A little know fact about me is that I’ve played violin since I was three. It’s a sad story. Basically I took a shine to playing right away. I practiced A LOT. It was my first obsession. I was good. I grew up near Madison and so when I got old enough (6th grade) I auditioned for the Wisconsin Youth Symphony Orchestra — and I got in! So I spent three wonderful years climbing the ranks there, playing in big concert halls, going to Orchestra camp in the summer, playing duets with my other violin friends on State Street for pizza money, etc. Until one day, when I was 14 (Freshman in H.S.) I decided to quit violin altogether. Just like that. And my parents didn’t even argue. 11 years — basically my entire life — of practicing violin religiously came to an abrupt halt. Sad, sad, sad. If only I could go back and slap my dumb 14-year-old self in the face. I was really good! Good enough that if I would have kept going with it, I could be playing professionally now.

self portrait with violin

 

Don’t ask me why I quit. I was trying to figure myself out and I guess quitting violin was a way to re-invent myself. Unfortunately, life got in the way, and because of the big fat mess that was my life from ages 15-23,  I rarely picked up my violin for 10 years. The last few of those years I didn’t even own a violin anymore (my gorgeous, expensive, violin ended up in a pawn shop). This brings us up to 4 years ago….

When I picked it back up.

Talk about a life-changing experience. By this time in my life, I was dating my future husband. My life was back in order, things were looking hopeful again. I had gone back to college for art. I was on the right path. Brandon and I went to an art fair and there was a Wisconsin Public Radio booth and they had a bunch of violins sitting there for people to pick up and try to play. He had heard me talk about my violin playing so he told me to go play. I was hesitant since I hadn’t played in such a long time, but thought I could remember at least something (I was scared). A teenager and I went for the full size violin at the same time. I let her take it first, thinking to myself, “This is going to be good!” and doubting if I could follow up her act. I was remembering how I could play at that age. She played Twinkle Twinkle Little Star! So when she was done, I thought, “Well, I can do better than that!” and attempted to play a very rough version of Concerto in A Minor by Vivaldi. But it drew a crowd. And I muddled through it. And I walked away from there with my heart beating out of my chest and my soul filled to the brim — and Brandon walked away trying to pick his jaw up off the ground. He had no idea I could actually play.

I went home and immediately started looking online for a violin. I was so excited and revved up. We had no money at the time, but I found a decent one on Ebay to start practicing with. It was so bittersweet when that violin arrived. It was completely different trying to play as an adult. There is more clutter in the mind, I think, and I was soooooo rusty. Just trying to re-learn the pieces that I had perfected before was quite depressing. I cried and cried, thinking about all the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. I had been able to play these songs perfectly at 14 and here I was in my late 20s missing notes. Luckily, my sister’s boyfriend gifted his grandfather’s violin to me last year — a beautiful instrument with a great tone. My violin and I have become friends again, and now I’m just thankful that I have this ability and that I did pick it back up all these years later. I can take it for what it is — something that I do for myself — and it feels great as long as I don’t attach any expectations onto it. I don’t need to be 1st chair anymore. I just need to be me.

I really am thankful to my parents who did so much for me those 11 years of my childhood when I seriously played the violin — it instilled a deep love and appreciation for Classical music and especially the violin that I will have in my heart for the rest of my life. I also think that being classically trained in music helped develop the right side of my brain and was a huge influence, albeit subconsciously, on my art abilities. I am also thankful for the skill to continue with my violin journey, even if only as an amateur.

{sidenote: I love the definition of amateur. Often used in a negative way, as in “lacking the skill of a professional”, the word actually derives from the French meaning “to do for the love of”}

Even if you think you hate Classical music, I encourage you to watch this amazing TED talk (via Ellen Rosewall – thanks!). It will convince you otherwise! I cried during half of it (in a good way)!

 

Moral of the story? Pick back up that instrument you played as a child. Or pick up a new instrument. Or maybe your instrument is your voice. You have the time, yes you do. Practicing connects us to the music at a such a deep, intense level — everybody should experience it this way.

Winter Solstice Walk

Brandon drug my 6-month-pregnant-ass out of the house this morning for a nice winter solstice walk — it was such a beautiful day in Door County — light snow falling, warm temps, a little windy but it was refreshing!

the last little green leaf

 

the end of the sunflowers

thought these weeds could use some little hats

here’s an interesting article on the winter solstice

 

see more photos on my Flickr

 

“I speak cold silent words a stone might speak
If it had words or consciousness,
Watching December moonlight on the mountain peak,
Relieved of mortal hungers, the whole mess
Of needs, desires, ambitions, wishes, hopes.
This stillness in me knows the sky’s abyss,
Reflected by blank snow along bare slopes,
If it had words or consciousness,
Would echo what a thinking stone might say
To praise oblivion words can’t possess
As inorganic muteness goes its way.
There’s no serenity without the thought serene,
Owl-flight without spread wings, honed eyes, hooked beak,
Absence without the meaning absence means.
To rescue bleakness from the bleak,
I speak cold silent words a stone might speak.”
-   Robert Pack, Stone Thoughts

More Winter poems and sayings

Giveaway Winner!

Congrats to Kimberli – our giveaway winner (you’ll get an email from me soon)! Thanks to everybody who participated, and all my new visitors — I hope to see you back here again soon.

Coming up soon on Visual Influence — Art Collected 2010 Parts 3-5. Including more interesting artwork and tips on how to collect art on a shoestring.

Read Art Collected 2010: Part One here
And Part Two here

Looking into the New Year – I plan on making art and blogging here even more. My life is going through some transitions right now (including expecting another baby in April) but if the past two years have taught me anything, it’s that I have to make time for my art and other projects in order to keep myself sane. I also have to learn how to pick and choose the right projects to be involved in.

One of those right projects is this — look for the first issue of Art Nowhere Magazine coming out soon.

art nowhere mag

I just realized that a project I conceived of in January is now coming together in December. Well, I guess with the year that I’ve had that doesn’t surprise me!

The project is Art Nowhere Magazine, a print publication that I aim to have out in the Winter 2011.

adam koenig

The publication will explore art that falls outside of the mainstream. Art, writing, design, craft, performance, etc. that isn’t covered by the major publications and websites. You will find the different and truly unique, not the same old trendy thing.

Our goal is to break stereotypes about the arts, notably the location issue (i.e. If  you don’t live and/or are not showing in a major metropolitan area, you are not an important artist).

This magazine will be a must read for those interested in what’s happening right now under the radar in contemporary art.

We will be posting content on the Art Nowhere website, so check back, bookmark it, and subscribe to our feed to be the first to join in on the conversation. Also stay updated on Facebook.

We are accepting submissions from artists, writers, etc. Click here for more info.

If you have an arts opportunity such as a “call for artists”, e-mail me at sarah@theeclipsegallery.com and we will publish it in our Opportunities section for free.

We will be picking and choosing a few, select advertisers for the magazine. One of our goals is to make our advertising opportunities for artists and arts organizations affordable. We have a basic listing available for artists for only $5 per issue. See all the advertising options here.

So, artist friends, let me know if you have a contribution to make–could be an image, poem, essay, etc. All contributors get a free copy of the magazine and a link on the website. Email me at sarah@theeclipsegallery.com

The only way that the arts we love can survive is by supporting them. This means buying handmade, going to local art shows/performances, and supporting independent publications like this one, among other things.

Thanks!

Ever Feel Stuck?

This is kinda off topic and personal….but

There are some days when I wake up and think, what the hell am I even doing? Is this really what I want? Is this enough for me? Now, I tend to be careful when I start thinking this way, because in the past I’ve made some really radical, snap decisions that led to bad outcomes. On the other hand, I’ve also made drastic changes in the past that worked out for the better. In fact, I believe that if I weren’t so manic sometimes, than I wouldn’t be half the person I’ve grown to be. It’s too bad you can’t see into the future and see which decisions are the right ones. And how the hell do you know WHEN to make a change? Is there ever really a right time or 100% confidence?  I admit that looking back, I have a few regrets, and I don’t want to experience deep regret ever again. So now maybe I’m overly cautious, and this is not good because it could be holding me back. On the other hand, I have to be cautious because my actions not only affect myself but my entire family. Am I just frustrated right now with a temporary situation that could change in the future, or will nothing change without a more drastic action? Maybe it’s only in the stars. Maybe I’m crazy?

three suicides, monoprint, 2009

Anyway, I just did this exercise — you write down, as quickly as you can (no more than 20 minutes) and without really thinking about it, 100 things that you want.  It’s really hard — I almost got stuck around 50, but I pushed through it. Here is the result:

100 Things I Want

1. Change
2. Freedom
3. Spend more time with friends and family
4. Make new friends
5. More time to do my artwork
6. A happy, healthy family
7. To live in the country and have sheep and chickens
8. To live more sustainably
9. To live close to Madison (home)
10. To feel like I belong
11. To live where I feel is home
12. To spend more time in nature
13. To be a nicer person
14. To feel certain in my decisions
15. To curate independently
16. To write things that matter
17. To feel involved in a community that I want to be involved in.
18. To travel and experience different cultures
19. To collect more artwork
20. To mat and frame the artwork I’ve already collected
21. To read all the books on my wish list
22. To blog more
23. To do more art and indie craft shows
24. To be featured in magazines
25. To write articles and essays that are published
26. To write a book
27. To have a kick-ass studio space and the time to create in it
28. To stop feeling so frustrated and stuck
29. For things with Brandon and I to be resolved so we can move on
30. For my kids to grow up in an amazing home
31. To do more with my kids
32. To see more performing arts events
33. To go to more art shows
34. To visit big cities more often
35. To see my grandpa (age 95) more often
36. To have long talks with my dad again
37. To go on more bike rides.
38. To plant and tend to a big garden
39. To rake leaves
40. To have a dishwasher and kitchen cabinets that open/close easily
41. To yarn bomb lots of things
42. To start revolutions
43. To finish projects
44. To let things go
45. To make the right decisions
46. To buy local/organic food
47. To make my own clothes
48. To be an awesome mother and wife
49. To shear my own sheep and then dye, card, spin, and knit the wool
50. To stop biting my nails
51. To get my hair done more often
52. To have more clothes and shoes
53. To visit the library more
54. To exercise more
55. To not yell at Brandon so much
56. To not be so hard on myself
57. Peace
58. Love
59. Harmony
60. Justice
61. To feel a spiritual connection with life again
62. To walk on stones over streams
63. To go boating more
64. To have good restaurants close by
65. To learn how to cook ethnic food
66. To clean my house without wanting to kill myself
67. To swim more
68. My mom’s Eggs Benedict
69. To go camping
70. To visit the in-laws in Florida in the winter
71. For people to not think I’m crazy
72. To make baskets
73. To have enough money to not worry
74. For everything to work out the way I want it to
75. To curate a museum show
76. For my artwork to be in a museum show
77. To be happy most of the time
78. To be a good friend
79. To be a good listener
80. To not be sick
81. To play my violin more
82. To listen to more live music
83. To get an electric violin
84. To teach my kids about music
85. To have more time for fun
86. To never feel stuck
87. To not hit any walls
88. A better sewing machine
89. Better relationships with my friends
90. To be truly unique and non-derivative
91. To push the envelope
92. To make mail art again
93. To know myself and be myself
94. To stop over analyzing everything
95. To care about society
96. To change my location
97. To be there for my family
98. To eat pizza with my sister every week
99. To make more money
100. To go home

So then you let that sit for a while and later come back to it and analyze the results.

I asked myself, are these things going to happen if I keep going along my current path? Are they feasible with change? Are there any surprises in the list (things I didn’t even know I wanted to do)? What is missing and what is going right? Are there any themes that repeat?

The first thing I noticed is that the list began and ended with me wanting to go home (Madison area). I’ve been connected with Madison since I was a very young child. I grew up in a small town about 35 minutes away, and my mother took me into the city every Saturday for violin lessons and orchestra practice (I was in the WI Youth Symphony Orchestra). We also went to performing arts events, museums/galleries, art supply shops to stock up, State St., Farmer’s Market, etc. all the time. As an adult I traveled but came back to the Madison area and lived there for years. It’s always been the place I’ve felt the most connected to, the most at home. Bottom line is that I’m homesick – especially because literally ALL of my friends and family live in that area. I’m also having some issues with living in Algoma and I’m not happy. Not that Algoma isn’t a nice town, I’m just getting the feeling after living here for two years, and having a business open here for over a year, that this isn’t the right location for me personally.

Another theme in my list is friends and family. I want to be closer with them and also make new ones. I’ve had a very hard time connecting to people where I live now, and those people that I did make connections with happened to have all moved away!

I see from my list that I also want more time to make art. Right now I feel very tied down to “making the gallery work” and I don’t have any extra time for making my own work. I also feel like I’m more of a “shop owner” than an artist or curator. I LOVE curating exhibitions, but as I said before, the location may be an issue. I don’t feel appreciated for the work I do. I don’t feel that my audience is very big. I have put a lot of work into the building we occupy and the gallery space. It would hurt to have to close and move, but it might hurt more to stay in a location that is not working for us. A different, more flexible model for making art/exhibiting/curating may be needed.

Anyway, this post is long enough already. I have some big decisions to make and I would love some feedback on this. How do you make big decisions? How do you know when change is the right thing to do? Leave a comment if you have something to contribute. Thanks!

“For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
its always ourselves we find in the sea”

e. e. cummings

A Fine Line American Supper

Two print publications came into my life today — Fine Line Magazine and American Supper by D. R. Baker.

Both are jaw-droppingly great.

American Supper is a book of poetry that is really fresh. The author, Deron Baker, happens to be a poet/artist living in Algoma, which makes it that much sweeter for me. He stopped by the gallery today and dropped a few copies off — we have a mixed media piece of his in the current Salon 100 show.

Let’s just say that I was blown away when I started reading his poetry. The copy he gave me smelled slightly of smoke as I turned the pages. Fitting for poetry that has been described as “apocalyptic” and “a quest for the sacred in the everyday world”. I agree with the back cover — the imagination does find refuge here. I was painting pictures in my head the whole time. Sublime.

Another interesting (and more professional) review of American Supper.

Excerpt from Dead Town

I took an evening
stroll through a little
Place called Dead
Town, like
Walking through a tinted photo.
Everyone stood still,
stiffened by fear.
Fraudulent phobia
and pink lemonade.
Everyone here is a
statue,
Preserved for
posterity, calcified,
Marking the exact
moment of their
death.

We are working with Baker right now to set up a poetry reading/book signing at the gallery. It will probably be during the February Algoma Art Wave.

We have a few copies available at the gallery or you can get one online.

NOW, a few words about the new Fine Line Magazine, created by Milwaukee artists/curators Cassandra Smith and Jessica Steeber.

cohesive, succinct, penetrating

It’s refreshing in many ways. No advertising, first of all. Mostly images, with quotes from some of my favorite poets and authors scattered throughout.
New art. Good art.

image credit/more images from the mag

According to their website, Fine Line Magazine aims to encourage the viewer to develop their own understanding of and relationship to the ideas presented.
I say mission accomplished and get your hands on this issue right now.

You can buy the first issue, Welcome Home, here

There is just something about print that I really connect with.
Print will never die.

art from the 8 yr old – matt’s new series

I had a bunch of cardstock scraps to recycle so Matt has been working on these little faces…..each one is unique with different features….I suggested he pasted them together somehow and have been teaching him what a “series” of work is…

He has been working on this for about a month straight now.

Here’s a couple examples:

 

 

 

kids are so inspiring — you should see how dedicated he is to this!

And this I believe: John Steinbeck

Brittany Peterson, Yellow, Blown Glass

I am currently reading East of Eden by John Steinbeck and the following passage really spoke to me. It’s long but worth the read. This meshes with everything I feel about myself, my individuality, my freedom, art, and how important handmade craft, design, and products are to our lives.

Sometimes a kind of glory lights up the mind of a man. It happens to nearly everyone. You can feel it growing or preparing like a fuse burning toward dynamite. It is a feeling in the stomach, a delight of the nerves, of the forearms. The skin tastes the air, and every deep-drawn breath is sweet. Its beginning has the pleasure of a great stretching yawn; it flashes in the brain and the whole world glows outside your eyes. A man may have lived all of his life in the gray, and the land and trees of him dark and somber. The events, even the important ones, may have trooped by faceless and pale. And then–the glory–so that a cricket song sweetens his ears, the smell of the earth rises chanting to his nose, and dappling light under a tree blesses his eyes. Then a man pours outward, a torrent of him, and yet he is not diminished. And I guess a man’s importance in the world can be measured by the quality and number of his glories. It is a lonely thing but it relates us to the world. It is the mother of all creativeness, and it sets each man separate from all other men. I don’t know how it will be in the years to come. There are monstrous changes taking place in the world, forces shaping a future whose face we do not know. Some of these forces seem evil to us, perhaps not in themselves but because their tendency is to eliminate other things we hold good. It is true that two men can lift a bigger stone than one man. A group can build automobiles quicker and better than one man, and bread from a huge factory is cheaper and more uniform. When our food and clothing and housing are all born in the complication of mass production, mass method is bound to get into our thinking and to eliminate all other thinking. In our time mass or collective production has entered our economics, our politics, and even our religion, so that some nations have substituted the idea collective for the idea God. This in my time is the danger. There is great tension in the world, tension toward a breaking point, and men are unhappy and confused. At such a time it seems natural and good to me to ask myself these questions. What do I believe in? What must I fight for and what must I fight against? Our species is the only creative species, and it has only one creative instrument, the individual mind and spirit of a man. Nothing was ever created by two men. There are no good collaborations, whether in music, in art, in poetry, in mathematics, in philosophy. Once the miracle of creation has taken place, the group can build and extend it, but the group never invents anything. The preciousness lies in the lonely mind of a man. And now the forces marshaled around the concept of the group have declared a war of extermination on that preciousness, the mind of the man. By disparagement, by starvation, by repressions, forced direction, and the stunning hammerblows of conditioning, the free, roving mind is being pursued, roped, blunted, drugged. It is a sad suicidal course our species seems to have taken.

And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any idea, religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about.

I can understand why a system built on a pattern must try to destroy the free mind, for that is one thing which can by inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I hate it and I will fight against it to preserve the one thing that separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we are lost.